What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Ive been pretending to be okay and acting as normal as possible, but Im actually completely heartbroken after a recent breakup. Its painful and really affecting me, to the point where I cant concentrate at work, Ive lost my appetite, I cant sleep, and It feels as if my whole world has been turned upside down. I loved him so much. He said so many cruel things to me and it made me realize he must not have loved me the way I loved him, or he wouldnt have said such horrible things. How do I handle the heartbreak and why cant I accept that he didnt love me and just forget about him?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

How do you identify a woman player?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Have you ever heard of the god Priapus being the same as the god Phosphorus?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

What was the most challenging shift you experienced as an ER physician? Can you describe the details and reasons behind it?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Why didn't Taylor Swift do Taylor Swift (Taylors version)?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Why did my ex replace me so fast?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

TEXT:

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

What does it feel like to "lose your looks" to age?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

How do Greeks identify themselves in terms of civilization? Do they feel more connected to Western or Middle Eastern civilization and why?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Why did losers ban TikTok?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

How is it, in the USA, a country with 334 million people, the choice of President comes down to two aged men, one of whom is a liar as well as a criminal, one who appears to be on his way to dementia. Surely a democratic country can put up better?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

My waist finally looks like how it did before I had kids but I didn’t lose weight. Why am I still 15 lbs from my starting weight?

Make Nazis afraid again!